Half of You

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by goodgirldown, on August 25th, 2007 under Status Quo with No Comments

I don’t want answers anymore. I don’t want solutions. I don’t need peace or calm or quiet or salvation of any kind. I don’t need to believe anymore. I don’t need to feel that there is anything in this world that I can have, that I can attain; that there is any piece of me that will ever be whole. It is simply too much, and I am working with too little; I can only see backwards and I’m falling into places I crawled out of years ago.

So much, there is so much boiling inside of me and every laugh, every smile, every day of silence is just a stitch across a wide seam that burst open such a very long time ago. It’s that same angry heat; that familiar insolence of youth, when nothing made sense and no one was listening, and even if they were, they couldn’t possibly understand.

I’m tired of trying to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be and why I’m not doing more when I all want to do is sleep this sickness away. I’m tired of beating myself up for being weak and needing help and being too proud to do anything about it when I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, I can’t think, I can’t sleep, and all that runs through my head is Girl…you better figure this out before time runs out on you for good.I just want to let go of this. I want to be human again. I want to feel…something different than nothing. I want catharsis.

Thanks for visiting; come back soon!

~ Truth ~

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela~

|| And this too shall pass ||